SCORPLOG

What The New Yorker Was Afraid To Print: Slayer's Responses

Where do The SCORPS meet?

Though the meeting places change from session to session, a good example of a SCORPS event locale would be Mos Eisley spaceport from Star Wars.  Anywhere, you find a "wretched hive of scum and villainy" you'll probably find a SCORP or two.

Did you enjoy the last book you read in the club? Can you sum up your thoughts on the book in three sentences or less?

Considering we read Hemingway's To Have and Have Not, which contains a sentence that is over 250 words, I'm not sure you have enough room for me to answer this in three sentences but I'll try.   If his purpose was to write one true sentence, I would say, for the most part, Hemingway succeeded many times over for this book.  And, like all Hemingway works, it made me thirsty.   There I did it.

Would you recommend the book for other clubs? Why or why not?

I am not aware of any other book clubs but if there are some out there I would recommend any of Hemingway's books.  He was the original SCORPION and would have loved our meetings though, rightly, he probably would have only shown up if we read one of his books.

What's the best book you've read in the club?

Blood Meridian, or the Evening Redness in the West by Cormac McCarthy.  Just the two titles alone are better than anything we've read.  Plus, he used the word "quirt" in a sentence.  ‘Nuff said.

What's the book you enjoyed least?

Youth in Revolt by C.D. Payne was not SCORP worthy.   I give the guy credit for self-publishing it after being rejected by every publisher in the world.  And God bless him for getting every tween in America to read it and for getting a movie deal - cha-ching!  But tweens also like the Jonas Brothers and Myley Cyrus.  SCORPS do not. 

Is there a type of book you think works best for group discussions?

Though you'd think the SCORPS would tend toward non-fiction, fiction books have definitely made for livelier discussions.  Must be something about fiction being made up, which is close to lying/bluffing/exaggerating/cheating - all SCORPION pastimes.

Preferred beverage at meetings?

PBR p.d.q.

Preferred food?

Once, when I was at McSorely's, the bartender turned off the TV because, in his words, "TV slows down drinking."  SCORPS feel the same way about food.  

Why you wanted to be in a book club:

There is no, how you say, "want."  Did those robot lions in that Voltron cartoon want to be vehicles that combined into an all-powerful-super robot?  No, that's how they were made.  SCORPS are made a certain way and when we were all finally close enough to come together we had no choice but to combine and create an all-powerful-super book club.

A Letter From Tanaka To Steve Alten, Author of Meg

Tanaka's Email To Steve

Steve,

I need help.  This is going to come off as a bit crazy, but I'm a 35 year old married professional in Boston.  A few years back, my wife joined a book club, and would come home and talk about how the girls had not read the book and just drank wine and gossiped.  My wife is in publishing, and is extremely well read so she was increasingly disappointed.  At one point, she said her book club would not let her friend join because her friend was a teacher, and not the ‘level' of person they wanted.  I was appalled.  And I had to do something.  The Scorpions were born.

The Scorpions are the ‘all hard guy' book club that I started a couple years back. I chose some of my friends, and some other guys I knew who were well read, funny and ready to kick some ass in a book club.  The club has been a huge success, we've now held meetings at strip joints, firing ranges, dog tracks, and pool halls among others.  We've read over 10 books, including some Cormac McCarthy and books on Iraq - books that were supposed to be ‘tough'.  Each meeting we get together and talk about the book for a few hours, have trivia on the book, and then have physical challenges that determine who can pick the next book.

At the last meeting, things were getting soft.  We met at some Euro lounge and discussed a book that no one liked - it was very un Scorpion.  I ended up winning the challenge, and chose MEG.  I had read the Trench before, and am a big sci fi fan and offshore fisherman, so wanted to get the crew back on track with something hardcore and entertaining.  Knowing you have a movie coming out (congrats), I thought that would be the perfect venue for a meeting.  Fast forward, and things are falling apart.  There has been a backlash that the book is not up to the literary standards of some of the others and the club has been complaining.  They are becoming my wife's book club.

One of the members said he was reading MEG on the subway, when a little kid saw the cover, and started to cry.  That is exactly what being a Scorpion is all about - reading books that make children cry.   A blood thirsty giant prehistoric shark is about as Scorp as it gets.  I just wanted to send you this note, to let you know I'm fighting the good fight, and would love any support you may be able to throw my way.  I know you're not local, but if you ever made it to Boston, I would love to host you as an honorary Scorpion at one of our meetings.  If not, even a quote for a press release, or just a few words of inspiration to relay to my brothers who have gone astray would be great.

As our motto says - Read.  Bleed.

Steve's Response To Tanaka

Tanaka,

Issue this challenge to the Scorpions: If they READ MEG: Hell's Aquarium or The LOCH, I will send you signed posters.

Tell them to "man up."

--Steve

SCORPIONS Featured In The New Yorker

Today the SCORPS got some digital ink from The New Yorker online. Late last night the article was in jeopardy when writer Macy Halford responded to our proposed images with, "...do you have one photo without a gun?"

At the time, the answer was no. But, we rallied and pulled together some last minute shots. 

 

The SCORPS Select Graham Greene's The Power and the Glory

SCORPIONS All Tough Guy Book Club announced today that Graham Greene's The Power and the Glory (Penguin Classics 2003) will be its June selection.

Founding Member, Tanaka, was unavailable for comment due to suspension for ‘conduct unbecoming of a SCORPION and failure to adhere to standard regulations.'

"We understand this book has something to do with whiskey, sin and greed, which are all pillars of the SCORPION anti-identity," said interim chair Shackleton. He added, "We hope the title will also inspire a new sense of purpose and tenacity, which has recently escaped certain members."

SCORPIONS members are required to digest The Power and the Glory and are scheduled to discuss it intelligently on July 9, 2008. Failure to do so will result in undesired consequences.